If anything can go wrong, it will.

Where Does He Go?!

My to-do list feels like it’s ten miles long.

I have work that needs done. Piles of photographs that need to be scanned, restored, put on CD/DVD and sent back to their owners. All the little personal side projects that I’m working on. Books waiting to be read. Dishes that need done. Laundry to wash. Cats that need their claws filed down.

Right now, though, I just want a break, so I thought it might be fun to share a little story about my absolute favourite subject, which is of course, Alex.

One of the odd little things that we do, being in a long distance relationship, is to fall asleep with Skype still running at night. Well, at least it’s night for one of us. Even if I don’t fall asleep before he does (and you might be surprised to learn that I usually do, what with it being 5 p.m. here when it’s 11 p.m. there), it’s comforting to me to listen to him breathe. Or snore. You know, which ever thing. It’s comforting.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m not a morning person. I’ve got nothing on Alex, though. I get up when my alarm goes off, the first time, more often than not. Alex will hit that snooze button five times before he actually gets up! In his defence, though, at least he plans for it, setting his alarm nearly a full hour ahead of when he actually has to get up.

I usually set my alarm for about 10 minutes before Alex‘s first one, so that I can get up and get a nice hot cup of tea and avoid being a real grouch to him first thing in the morning. By the time his alarm goes off, he’s usually aware that I’m already awake, and occasionally he’ll mumble that he loves me, or tell me “good morning, beautiful”.

The other morning, though, his alarm went off and boy, was he cranky.  He hit the snooze and practically shouted at me, “I told you not to feed the turtles”.

What the fuck?!

I giggled a little and proceeded with the morning routine, which mostly consists of checking in on the blogs I read.

Ten minutes later, Alex‘s alarm goes off again, and once again clearly very irritated with me, he says, “Leave the laser monkeys alone”!

Laser monkeys?!

By that time I was sitting at my computer absolutely losing my shit. I had to mute the microphone so as not to disturb him with my laughter.

Eventually, his final alarm went off, and he groaned and started to get up. I waited to see if he was going to enlighten me as to what the problem with feeding the turtles was, or what would happen if I absolutely couldn’t leave the laser monkeys alone, but, nothing in the way of explanation was offered.

In fact, not another word about turtles or laser monkeys was mentioned until he got home from work that evening and I demanded to know what the hell was going on.

Naturally, he had no idea what I was talking about.

I sure would love to know where it is he goes when he’s off to dreamland, but apparently, even he doesn’t have a clue.

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