If anything can go wrong, it will.

Dear Dixie



Hello, my darling girl.

I want you to know that I love you, but missy, we need to have a talk.

I have no idea what has given you the impression that you are Empress of All You Survey, but that is my bed that you are sleeping on. That is my lovely electric blanket that you are hogging.

You are small enough that, should you be willing to cooperate in even the slightest with me, we could share these items easily. The bed is queen sized. The blanket more than covers me, and I would be happy to have you cosy up next to me, or between my feet. Wherever you like, my little miss, provided you can just understand that these are my things, and I have the right to use them.

If you are unable to understand this, I’m afraid that in the future I will simply have to throw you out of the bedroom at night.

Thank you for your cooperation.

3 Responses to Dear Dixie

  • I admire cats and feel humble when I contemplate them because I could never aspire to their superior state of being, much as I might wish I could. Cats are blessed with a total lack of conscience, of any sense of right and wrong, of any concept of democracy. They are innocent of any notion of sharing or even of joint ownership. What a cat wants belongs to the cat. What the cat doesn’t want may possibly belong to you but the cat won’t bother to think about that.
    You may think you own the cat but the cat doesn’t think so. You are an active part of the environment and as such have to be taken into account but with any luck you can be manipulated and used to the cat’s advantage. Either way the cat owns you.
    Now, of course, you can teach the cat to behave but only as long as you do it in such a way that the cat thinks he has discovered the trick for himself and can profit from it. Achieving this, though, is a long and tedious process and most of us give up long before we have even glimpsed success. I therefore don’t give much for your chances of persuading Dixie that the bed is your sole property. No cat of mine has ever come anywhere near entertaining such a bizarre concept. Either accept the inevitable or do what we monkeys do best: resort to physical means.

    • Never in a million years would I imagine for even a second that I own either of my cats, but, the sharing of the bed and the blanket is not up for debate. Either she does it, or she can spend the night outside the confines of my room.

      In all seriousness, I take it as a compliment that both of my cats sleep where I sleep, and I’m going to be just a bit sad if she can’t learn to share.

      • Yes, it works by transfer if scent. They rub you so you smell like them and they smell like you. Anything that smells of you such as bedding or garments is a reassuring place for them curl up on.

        If you give Dixie an old jacket you’ve worn, she’ll resign herself to sleeping on it outside the bedroom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.